Alicia

8 Enticing Books for Moms to Read

For many moms, finding time to read can be a luxury. However, the right book can offer a much-needed escape, inspiration, or even a deeper understanding of life’s complexities. The following eight books are not just enticing reads but are also powerful narratives that resonate with the diverse experiences of motherhood, identity, and personal growth. 

These books deserve a spot on every mom's reading list.

1. Verity by Colleen Hoover

Verity is a gripping psychological thriller that keeps you on the edge. The story of Lowen Ashleigh, a struggling writer who is allowed a lifetime to complete the works of a bestselling author, turns dark when she discovers an unfinished autobiography that reveals unsettling truths. For moms, Verity is a captivating escape into a world of mystery, suspense, and unexpected twists. It also explores the theme of motherhood in a disturbing and thought-provoking way, making it a compelling read for those looking for more than just a straightforward thriller.

2. The Truth About the Harry Quebert Affair by Joël Dicker

This literary mystery novel delves into the life of a famous author, Harry Quebert, who becomes the prime suspect in a murder investigation after the body of a young girl is discovered in his backyard. The protagonist, Marcus Goldman, is a writer suffering from writer's block, and his journey to uncover the truth is as much about solving the crime as it is about self-discovery. For moms, this novel offers a richly layered narrative that explores themes of love, loss, ambition, and the complexities of human relationships, making it an engrossing read that will keep them hooked until the last page.

3. Educated by Tara Westover

Educated is a memoir that tells the incredible story of Tara Westover, who grew up in a strict, survivalist family in rural Idaho and eventually escaped to pursue formal education, earning a PhD from Cambridge University. The book is a powerful testament to the transformative power of education and the resilience of the human spirit. For moms, Educated is an inspiring read highlighting the importance of self-determination and the courage to break away from a past that no longer serves one's growth.

4. The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah

Set in the harsh wilderness of Alaska, The Great Alone is a story of survival, resilience, and the unbreakable bond between mother and daughter. The novel follows the Allbright family as they move to Alaska for a fresh start but find themselves isolated and at the mercy of the unforgiving environment. For moms, this book is an emotional rollercoaster that explores family dynamics, women's strength, and the enduring power of love. It’s a beautifully written novel that will resonate with anyone who has ever faced adversity.

5. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

This novel tells the story of the reclusive Hollywood icon Evelyn Hugo, who finally decides to tell her life story to an unknown journalist. The book explores themes of love, identity, and the sacrifices one makes for success. For moms, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo offers a fascinating look into the glamorous yet tumultuous life of a star while also delving into the complexities of personal choices, relationships, and the pursuit of one’s true self. It’s a compelling read that blends historical fiction with the glitz of Hollywood.

6. High Achiever by Tiffany Jenkins

High Achiever is a raw and unfiltered memoir of Tiffany Jenkins, who battled addiction while living a double life as a police officer’s girlfriend. The book is a gripping account of her descent into addiction, the consequences of her actions, and her journey to recovery. For moms, this memoir offers a candid look at the struggles of addiction and the difficult path to redemption. It’s an eye-opening read that underscores the importance of resilience, self-forgiveness, and the power of second chances.

7. The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin

In this memoir, Lara Love Hardin shares her journey from suburban soccer mom to convicted felon and her subsequent reinvention as a successful ghostwriter. The book explores themes of shame, redemption, and the complexity of identity. For moms, The Many Lives of Mama Love is a compelling read that challenges preconceived notions of motherhood, success, and failure. It’s a story of transformation that shows how it’s never too late to rewrite your life story, no matter how far you've fallen.

8. In the Shadow of the Mountain by Silvia Vasquez-Lavado

In the Shadow of the Mountain is a memoir by mountaineer Silvia Vasquez-Lavado, the first openly gay woman to complete the Seven Summits. The book chronicles her journey to healing from trauma through the physically and mentally demanding process of climbing some of the world’s highest peaks. For moms, this memoir offers an inspiring story of strength, resilience, and the power of confronting one's fears. It’s a reminder that overcoming challenges can lead to profound personal growth and that the mountains we face are often as formidable as the ones we climb.

Final Thoughts: 8 Enticing Reads for Busy Moms

These eight books offer a rich tapestry of experiences, from gripping thrillers and historical fiction to raw memoirs and inspiring stories of triumph. Each one provides a unique perspective on life’s challenges and rewards, making them perfect reads for moms who seek stories that resonate, inspire, and entertain. 

Whether you're looking for a thrilling escape, a story of survival, or an inspiring tale of transformation, these books promise to deliver an unforgettable reading experience. Don't have time to read? That's no problem. I interview many authors on the MomShine podcast. Tune in to get top trends and highlights.

by Alicia

5 Trends that Show that Younger Generations May Be Getting Over Club Life

Part of my work on MomShine that I love is looking at the latest trends for future generations. What’s coming next? What will they be into so I can stay hip and in the know? 

Tinx posted one reel, and I got curious about our kids' future nightlife cravings. Are they not dancing in heels on tables anymore? Then what are they into? And for those of you who don’t know Tinx, Christina Najjar is an influencer. She began posting on TikTok during the COVID-19 pandemic and has dubbed herself "TikTok's older sister" due to her advice about relationships and mental health. 

Regardless, it caused me to dive in and learn that the landscape of nightlife and social activities is changing, with younger generations shifting preferences. Here are five trends indicating this shift and some strategies that might help keep the dance scene vibrant.

5 Trends Indicating a Shift Away from Traditional Club Life

1. Rise of Wellness and Self-Care

Younger generations prioritize health and well-being, preferring activities promoting physical and mental wellness over late-night partying. Wellness festivals, fitness classes, and sober-curious movements are gaining popularity. According to McKinsey’s latest Future of Wellness research, which surveyed more than 5,000 consumers across China, the United Kingdom, and the United States, Gen Zers and millennials purchase more wellness products and services than older generations.

2. Digital and Virtual Experiences

The rise of virtual events, online gaming, and social media has created alternative avenues for social interaction. Virtual raves, live-streamed DJ sets, and online communities offer convenient and safe ways to enjoy music and dance from home. Deloitte published an article in the Wall Street Journal stating, "Gen Zs and millennials are weaving together their digital and physical worlds, setting the stage for the next version of reality in gaming and entertainment.” 

3. Preference for Intimate Gatherings

Overcrowded clubs are not favored over smaller, more intimate gatherings and house parties. These settings offer a more personal and controlled environment for socializing and dancing. Business Insider states, “New data shows that young people are twice as likely as older generations to date a friend.” All the more reason for us moms to vet who they’re hanging out with.

4. Diverse Music and Cultural Experiences

Younger people seek diverse and unique experiences, leading to a decline in traditional clubbing in favor of cultural festivals, pop-up events, and alternative music scenes. These events often blend various forms of entertainment, including art, food, and music. Have you checked out Fisher? He’s an Australian house and techno producer based in Los Angeles. He performed at Outside Lands, and it was pretty incredible to watch.

5. Economic Considerations

Financial constraints and the high cost of clubbing (entrance fees, drinks, transportation) make it less appealing. More affordable options, like free outdoor concerts and community events, are increasingly popular. (**Again, think Fisher at Outside Lands—the place was popping and already has 4M views on YouTube!) 

4 Strategies to Keep Dancing the Night Away Alive

With economic barriers and a preference for more intimate experiences, club organizers must evolve their environments to appeal to younger generations. As one friend told me, technology is many of our second or third languages, but for younger generations, it’s their first language. 

Here’s how clubs can evolve to keep appeal to younger generations in the future.

1. Embrace Technology: Utilize virtual reality and live streaming to create hybrid events that blend physical and digital experiences. This allows people to participate from home or in person, expanding the reach and accessibility of events.
2. Create Unique Experiences: Offer themed nights, immersive environments, and collaborations with artists from different fields to provide a unique and memorable experience beyond traditional clubbing.
3. Host Smaller, Curated Events: Organize exclusive, invite-only parties or smaller events that focus on quality over quantity. These can foster a sense of community and exclusivity that appeals to younger generations. I met my husband at an invite-only event, so I fully support this strategy.
4. Promote Inclusivity and Diversity: Ensure events are inclusive and cater to a diverse audience by featuring a variety of music genres, performers, and cultural experiences. This approach can attract a broader and more engaged crowd.

I loved a recent trip to St. Barts in the Carribbean, where we danced the night away as adults. Each night's experience was intimate and curated around delicious meals and time with friends. You were encouraged after the meal to get up and dance, and I couldn’t help but crave more experiences like this in the future. 

By understanding and adapting to these evolving preferences, the nightlife industry can continue to thrive and offer exciting opportunities for dancing and socializing in the future. Movement and wellness will be key to nightlife success.

For concerned moms looking for tips to help kids socialize more, check out our MomShine episode to learn how to help younger generations achieve digital wellness so they can continue engaging in fun social excursions and put those screens away more in the future. 

by Alicia

8 Family Activities While Traveling in Australia with Kids

My husband and I started planning a trip to the land down under no less than six months before leaving. We secured our flights in an epic Cyber Monday deal on Air New Zealand, allowing my 3-year-old and me to sleep comfortably on a skycouch to and from the airport. A skycouch collapses a 3-row seating arrangement into a comfy bed. We slept like kings. So when we arrived, we could tackle some of these big adventures! 

I also learned that only .2% of Americans visit Australia yearly, or roughly 650,000. This is surprising when 5% of Australians visit the States. And my kids had so much fun, and it is easy to travel here. So here’s my must-do list for a good family time out in Australia. 

Family Activities in Australia to Do with Kids

1. Visit the Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary in Australia

The Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary was a big hit for my kids. We splurged and held and took photos with koalas. The pelican and eel feeding was excellent at the start, and petting kangaroos together is something we will never forget. Locals told us we took photos with “big reds,” which are massive kangaroos in Australia. This one in the photo is just a baby, but some others are massive.

2. Go to Byron Bay with the whole family

First, upon arrival in Byron Bay, our local Aussie friends had handmade the local birds' favorite seeds, complete with dog food mixed in to help with the calcium needed for strong beaks. Within the first few mornings, birds were eating out of my kids’ hands, and many return customers asked for more. 

The Byron Bay Street Fair was also fantastic, and we got something special we needed—granola to help the gut, bug ointments, candles, handmade soap, and custom-made bell bottoms. There are only four a year, so consult local sites to learn when they are and plan a trip around it if you can. The one we went to was the Beachside Market featured on this website. 

3. Find your way to the Crystal Palace

The Crystal Palace was an incredible visit for our family and an easy drive from our accommodations in Byron Bay. It features some of the most giant geodes in the world, sacred bodhi trees, a Kora you can walk and pray around, and more. My kids were intrigued as we walked the grounds, enamored by the largest sparkles we’d ever seen and bamboo reeds that reached as tall as buildings. It was something I’ll never forget: praying, giving gratitude, and taking in all the energy of this beautiful place.

4. Take a paddle on Brunswick River as a family

I love standup paddling and reminisced with my oldest that they didn’t even have it when I was growing up. It didn’t take off until the 90s and was attributed to Laird Hamilton when he modernized it as a sport. Either way, I love it. We take turns paddling and taking in the sights. We saw sting rays, fish, pelicans, and kookaburras.

5. Go to The Farm in Byron Bay with your kids

The Farm in Byron Bay was also an excellent visit. There is a great cafe and playground for kids, and my favorite part was learning how to crack macadamia nuts with my kids using rocks. I love learning new things with them, and this was a perfect half-day activity, especially with my son, who loves tractors.

6. Visit some rainforests in Australia with your children

One of my unexpectedly favorite days of the trip was hiking at Mossman Gorge, where you end the easy hike in a beautiful cold plunge. The water is an electric green and so refreshing. The scenery was so peaceful, and the best part was that my 3-year-old could walk the whole thing, swinging from vines and having a blast. My other favorite rainforest destination with kids is combined with a Croc tour in Tip #8. 

7. See the Great Barrier Reef — a family adventure!

We went to the inner reef, and it was a rather windy day, but the beauty of the inner reef is that there is a lovely island to hang out on. On one side, it's very protected even if it's windy. We saw over a handful of swimming turtles, even without snorkeling. And a rarely-seen heart urchin. We did try with my 3-year-old, but it was too much for him, given the weather. The ride over and back is worth it, as is the glory of this beautiful site.

8. Take a Crocodile Tour with your kids while in Australia

I love the zoos in Australia, and Cairns, the region where the Great Barrier Reef is, did not disappoint. They are far more interactive than ours in the States. The first Croc tour we went to was in open-air boats through Solar Whisper on the Daintree River, where we saw two males duke it out over their territory. From there, we took a car ferry to the oldest rainforest in the world. My oldest ate up the guided tour at the Daintree Discovery Centre. We had never known about Cassowary birds, which are critical to the reforestation of seeds in the rainforest. 

On our second day of crocodile fun, we went to Hartley’s Crocodile Adventures to hand-feed the cassowaries and pet koalas and see no less than three different crocodile shows. The first, they take turns hand-feeding crocodiles in the enclosure with them; the second, via another enclosed boat tour where they feed them off the side of the boat; and the third, where they take some of the most dangerous crocs they have and hand-feed those. It’s lively, to say the least, and leads to a jam-packed day of learning and zoo fun.

Some notes about our family vacation to Australia

The stops on these must-do tips include the Gold Coast, where we flew into Brisbane and drove up to Byron. From Brisbane, we flew to Cairns for tips #6-8. We also rented a car upon arrival at each of these destinations. You must be prepared to adjust to a new way of driving on the opposite side of the car and road. I was grateful my husband did that, playing tour guide through and through.

At the end of our trip, we toured around Sydney, which isn’t included in the list above, but you don’t need a car as it’s a large metro. We visited the Sydney Opera House and ferried around there, and the city is entirely walkable. The Taronga Zoo in Sydney is also a must-see, with a seal show, platypus sighting, and then a bite at the Opera House. Since it's a big city, the food is also AMAZING! I still hope to replicate the salmon poke bowl I grabbed on our way to Manly Beach.

Some other learnings—honey is healing. People and doctors swear their manuka honey products to cure many ailments. Their long break is during our holiday season, starting December through the end of January; a more minor 2-week break is in July. If going in July, you might want to time around breaks in those areas as the schools stagger them, which is genius but adds additional research you might want to do leading up.

Get in touch for more Australia travel tips with kids

Feel free to message me @momshineco on Instagram for any other specific questions, tips, or advice! I also fully endorse Kristina Watkins (kw_lux_travel) for any travel needs. You can learn more on our episode on family travel here on the pod.

by Alicia

8 Things to Do in Kauai with Kids

Kauai, known as the Garden Isle, offers a perfect blend of natural beauty, adventure, and relaxation, making it an ideal destination for family vacations. From its lush rainforests and breathtaking waterfalls to pristine beaches and vibrant cultural experiences, Kauai has something for every family member. 

Whether you're seeking outdoor adventures, educational experiences, or quality time together, this guide highlights eight must-do activities to create unforgettable memories for your family on this enchanting Hawaiian island. Let's dive into the top family-friendly activities in Kauai that promise fun, excitement, and bonding moments for all.

Traveling to Kauai with Kids—Fun Family Activities for Your Trip

1. Hang at Poipu Beach while in Kauai with your kids

Poipu (Baby Beach) is the standard beach for kids and families. It is nice and calm and good for swimming and snorkeling, but it is crowded. I like to get there early after breakfast (9 or so) to beat crowds and the sun. We are usually home by lunch. Usual beach activities include snorkeling and checking for turtles and monk seals that come up on the beach. There is an easy beach shack across the street (Breneckes) for smoothies and snacks if needed.  

2. Take the offroad path to Mahalepu’u on your next Kauai vacation

Mahalepu’u is worth a trip, but I heard they closed access to get out there, so unless it has reopened, you may be out of luck. You might want to ask around when you are there because it is a pretty cool excursion. You used to be able to take the dirt road past the golf course (next to Hyatt), then make a left and into the potholed road where the gate is. If you run into the horse stables, you’ve gone too far. There is also a turtle sanctuary within and off this dirt road that my kids love. Make a right and head towards the pine trees and beach when the road comes to a T.  

Parking is at the end of the road (dead ends into the beach). It's a great hike out on the rocks (super secluded beach on the other side) and a lovely beach walk heading back towards shipwrecks. It also has a beautiful labyrinth overlooking the bluff there. 

You can walk out there from Shipwrecks along the cliffs, which is a great hike you should be able to do even if road access is closed, so it is worth doing this regardless, as it is the best hike on the South Shore—very few people out there, primarily locals fishing and a few in-the-know tourists. Bring a cooler and post up for a bit. Take your camera!

3. Enjoy a Wailua kayak tour as a family

We have done this a few times with my family. There is a separate excursion that also goes to the secret waterfall. This is a 30-minute drive from Poipu and would be a half-day trip—usually, I combine it with Wailua or Opaekaa Falls, which are nearby.  

4. See the Spouting Horn—a great Kauai activity for all ages

This is a geyser at the west end of Poipu. It is a pretty drive along the road past the harbor.

5. Go and visit Kapa’a while in Hawaii with your family

It is about 1 hour and 20 minutes from Poipu to Hanalei, depending on traffic through Kapa’a. It's a haul but pretty magical and has a different feel from the South Shore. The mountains dipping into the sea are just something you don't see on the island's south side. Take some time to hang out on that beach and by the pier. 

Many places along the river rent SUPS and kayaks, which is pretty killer. We usually go to the one closest to the river mouth, which you can walk to from the parking lot. Tunnels is also a fantastic beach; snorkeling is always suitable in front if conditions are good. Hideaways is also a great spot in Princeville.  

Drive into Princeville like you are going to the 1 Hotel Hanalei, and there is a little parking lot on the right (by tennis courts) with about eight public parking spots. It would help if you got lucky to find a parking spot.  It's a gnarly walk down the hill to get there, but once you do, it's a killer beach and great snorkeling. It is another 15-20 minutes from Hanalei to Tunnels and then another 5 minutes or so to the end of the road in Haena.

6. Take a walk on the Hanapepe swinging bridge

Hanapepe Town is about 15-20 minutes west of Poipu. It is a cool artist town with a swinging bridge over the Hanapepe River. The best option is to go on Friday Night when they usually have art gallery openings, food trucks, and live music. 

7. Enjoy a trip to Waimea while vacationing in Kauai with your family

Waimea is worth a trip one day, and it is a full day. The weather changes a bit up in the mountains. The town of Waimea is around 30-40 minutes from Poipu. You will see road signs to get you to Waimea Canyon, another 30 to 40-minute drive into the mountains. 

Waimea Canyon is the first stopover for the lookout. Then, you will also want to hit the Kalalau lookout, another 15 minutes past the Waimea Canyon stop.  Kalalau lookout is the end of the road. Keep going to the right when you get to the lookout lot to the farthest parking lot.  That is the Pihea trailhead and the start of the Alikai swamp trail.  Take a walk for as long as you want, but the best views are the first mile or so, with Kalalau Valley on the left.  There are epic photos to be had here, and it’s the best view of the Kalalau valley.

8. Take a hike on the Na Pali Coast 

All the hikes start on the North Shore, which may be too much for you unless you want to do a few miles when you get to the end of the road in Haena. So, if you choose to see the Na Pali Coast from the South Shore, it comes down to a heli or boat tour. Chopper tours leave from Lihue. The other option is to go by boat. One option is to leave Hanalei, the island's other side. The pro is that you are much closer to Napali, but the con is that it is much more expensive and complicated. Another option is to leave from Port Allen, which is right near Hanapepe. The Na Pali Coast is also the first place that fans of Jurassic Park and Jurassic World want to see, along with some other destinations mentioned. This post on 5 Jurassic Views You’ll Find in Kauai lists some others in more detail.

Along with fun activities, I consulted Kristina Watkins (@kw_lux_travel) for ideas on great hotels in Kauai. Here are six great ones below:

1. 1Hotel Hanalei Bay: Located on the picturesque North Shore of Kauai, 1Hotel Hanalei Bay offers luxury accommodations with stunning views of the bay and the surrounding mountains. This eco-friendly resort emphasizes sustainability, using natural materials and incorporating energy-efficient practices. Guests can enjoy amenities like an infinity pool, spa, and farm-to-table dining options.
2. The Lodge at Kukui’Ila: The Lodge at Kukui'ula is a luxurious private club and resort located on the sunny South Shore of Kauai. It features upscale bungalows and cottages set amidst lush landscapes. Guests have access to world-class amenities, including a golf course designed by Tom Weiskopf, a sprawling spa, a range of dining options, and outdoor activities like hiking and water sports.
3. Timbers Kauai: Situated on the scenic coastline of Lihue, Timbers Kauai offers upscale residential-style accommodations within the Hokuala resort. The property boasts spacious villas with ocean views, a Jack Nicklaus-designed golf course, and a variety of recreational activities. Guests can enjoy farm-to-table dining, a spa, and direct access to the beach.
4. Grand Hyatt: Located in Poipu on the South Shore, the Grand Hyatt Kauai Resort & Spa is a large beachfront property known for its lush gardens and extensive amenities. The resort features multiple pools, including a saltwater lagoon, a lazy river, and a waterslide. Guests can indulge in fine dining, relax at the award-winning Anara Spa, and enjoy activities like golf and tennis.
5. Koa Kea: Koa Kea Hotel & Resort, also in Poipu, offers a more intimate and romantic setting. This boutique beachfront hotel is known for its elegant rooms and personalized service. Amenities include a spa, a pool with ocean views, and the award-winning Red Salt restaurant. It's a perfect spot for couples looking for a tranquil and luxurious getaway.
6. Sheraton Kauai: The Sheraton Kauai Resort is a beachfront property located on Poipu Beach. It offers comfortable accommodations with beautiful ocean views and direct beach access. The resort features a variety of dining options, two swimming pools, a fitness center, and numerous water activities. It’s ideal for families and travelers seeking relaxation and adventure.

Each of these hotels offers a unique experience, making them suitable for different types of travelers visiting the beautiful island of Kauai.

Last but not least—Good food spots for the family in Kauai

Last, you’ll want to be ready for some fantastic food. Koloa town has an incredible fish market, and Ishiharas on the West Side near Waimea has the best Japanese market, complete with great poke selections and plate lunches. My kids also adapt to an afternoon shave ice excursion while we are there. Koloa Shave Ice is excellent; the Fresh Shace in Lawai is also good if you do the Spouting Horn one day; Jojos and the Hanalei Shave Ice Truck also do not disappoint. I also enjoyed the Taro Truck in Hanalei. If you are eating out at night and not throwing a fish on the BBQ, we love Keoki’s Paradise. Their Frozen Mai Tai’s are so unique and a must! Plus, music every night usually starts around 7 pm, which is excellent for the kids.

If you have time, treat yourself to a spa day at the Hyatt on the island. It’s excellent and just what all moms need, and I love running the path to it and then treating myself to spa time afterward. If you want more tips on traveling with the family, check out our episode on How to Plan the Best Family Trip on the MomShine pod, or reach out to me (@momshineco) or Kristina Watkins (kw_lux_travel) on Instagram.

by Alicia

4 Experts Weigh In on Top Parenting Advice to Keep That Shine

Maintaining a happy and balanced mom life involves blending self-care, support, and emotional awareness. A walk in the sun can help start a day. Meditating or stretching for 5-10 minutes can go a long way. The important part is that you are honoring your gut, putting in the work and research when needed, and cherishing the moments— hard and fun along the way. When it’s hard, just remember, that’s when the good work and healing can be done.

Here's what four experts suggest helps to keep that shine in your parenting journey.

1. Have a code word when someone feels “off” 

Jenna Hermans, author of Chaos to Calm, emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence within the family. Introducing a code word, like “I feel banana,” can help family members express when they feel off or unsure. This strategy fosters emotional awareness and encourages open communication, providing a valuable tool for managing emotions effectively.

2. Identify your parenting triggers 

Katherine Sellery, founder of The Conscious Parenting Revolution, advocates for parents to understand and manage their emotional triggers. By recognizing these triggers, parents can remain calm and better listen to their children. This conscious approach to parenting strengthens the foundation of love, trust, communication, and mutual respect between parents and children.

3. Rewire your brain to relax 

Emmett Miller, MD, introduces the concept of neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to form new pathways that help with relaxation during stressful moments. Techniques like autogenic training and Letting Go of Stress, which involve calming different areas of the body one at a time, can induce deep relaxation. These methods help parents manage stress and can also be taught to children for their benefit. The best part is that moms can get a 50% discount on Letting Go of Stress (four different meditations to choose from) if they use the code MomShine at checkout.

4. Lean on mom communities for support 

Jessica Hill, founder of The Parent Collective, underscores the importance of support from mom communities. Joining athletic or creative groups can significantly impact a mom's well-being. Engaging in activities like working out or playing tennis builds physical health and ensures moms have fun while feeling supported. Partners can help each other in activities that bring joy and fulfillment.

According to the American Psychological Association, the APA’s October 2023 Stress in America survey, which included a nationally representative sample of more than 3,000 adults, showed that women reported a higher average level of stress than men (5.3 versus 4.8 out of 10) and were more likely to rate their stress levels between an 8 and a 10 than men (27% versus 21%). 

These expert tips can help you experience parenting challenges more easily, enhance your parenting experience, and ensure a happier and more balanced life for yourself and your family. For more comprehensive advice, including techniques to practice wellness across the whole family and how to build a foundation for success, check out our guide on "20 Quick Tips to Shine" for further insights.

by Alicia

7 Ways to Overcome Top Parenting Challenges With Ease

My MomShine journey began with creating a family structure that worked for us. I felt I was winging it when working long hours in startup life, so I immediately enrolled in Polly Ely’s MFT Parent School for some easy tips to overcome the top challenges I was experiencing. 

Instead of looking to others, I wanted a playbook I could feel confident in when the going got rough and to know I was doing my best without judgment both inwardly and outwardly to keep a sturdy lead for our family.

Here are some tips for getting through top parenting challenges with more ease.

1) Create easy-to-follow family rules to overcome parenting challenges

First, I needed rules to follow to build healthy family dynamics in our household. Ones that everyone could follow. Once outlined, have them in the house and have a family meeting. Ours include:

1. Refusal to participate
2. Taunting or teasing
3. Mistreating yourself, others, or creatures
4. Processing when we get mad without getting mean
5. Sharing is caring

They are simple in the sense that they all go back to kindness. Often, fights start with our youngest when toys are taken from him. We love working on #5 because being generous is key. Also, treating yourself and others well and having a participatory attitude around the house is big. One fun thing to do is to give your family a team name. Ours is “Candy,” and then it rotates periodically, letting a kid pick the name of the candy of choice when we want to change things up. It helps us all work together as a unit and keeps everyone involved in the fun.

2) Maintain the family hierarchy

Kids don’t get to dictate which parent does bedtime or help them with their homework. The same goes for barking complaints instead of respectfully asking for what they want or need. Instead, pause and ensure you’re teaching them the best way to communicate and ask for what they need from you. Often, we go into autopilot and fall for these common traps, giving them control. Have a plan on the values and guidelines you want to teach and how you will teach them. Maintaining the lead in your house ensures that no gentle or passive parenting enables kids to take too much control before they’re ready.

3) Keep clear and calm communication during kids misbehavior

This can sometimes be the hardest to keep, especially when your kids’ actions are hurtful or upsetting. A splash of cold water on the face can go a long way. Children who are constantly yelled at by their parents are more likely to develop behavioral problems, low self-esteem, and depression, according to a 2013 study published in The Journal of Child Development. According to Jazmine McCoy, a clinical psychologist based in the Atlanta suburbs, it can interfere with their connection to us if it's more common. But every parent yells from time to time. Just ensure it’s always followed up with a repair and rebuilding that connection to them after.

4) Set boundaries to help navigate parenting challenges

Boundaries are essential for children because they provide safety, structure, and guidance. They help children understand their limits, develop self-discipline, and make better decisions. They also ensure that they can set their own boundaries in the future. Some boundary work examples are having things that are yours off limits: your purse, makeup, drawer, etc. Also, have boundaries on behavior. The mantra, You Can Be Mad But Not Mean, gives kids a line not to cross when learning to process their emotions.

5) Eliminate worry parenting

Another way of thinking about this is not to probe for pain and instead let kids bring problems to you. Replace “Be Careful” with “You Got This.” Help them feel free from worrying and confident in their approach so that this can be a running inner dialogue they can lean on in the future. I started saying this to myself when I got scared. “I got this!” Competence is a significant growth area for kids, and perfectionism can stunt that growth. 

6) Asking for help can alleviate other parenting issues

Asking for help can alleviate other parenting issues while fostering a cooperative and supportive family environment. Encouraging kids along their learning journey is a crucial part of parenting, and since every child is different, it's important to adapt to their unique needs and pace. Taking on too much at once can be overwhelming for children, so it's beneficial to involve them in the family ecosystem in ways that help them learn to contribute what they can effectively.

Example 1: Teaching Manners at Family Dinner

One way to help kids learn to ask for help and to offer help is by practicing manners at family dinners. Instead of overwhelming them with all the manners, focus on one manner at a time. Make it fun by incorporating a code signal to avoid embarrassment when they forget, especially in public. For instance, you could touch your nose anytime a child interrupts a conversation. This helps them remember their manners and teaches them to recognize when you are subtly asking for their help. Set a monthly theme and reward kids for their progress, allowing them to improve in manageable steps.

Example 2: Morning Bases Routine

Another engaging strategy is implementing a "running the morning bases" type routine. Assign 3-4 tasks your kids are responsible for in the morning (i.e., the bases), letting them complete them in any order they prefer. If you have an hour to get ready in the morning, you can break it into 15-minute intervals and ask your kids which base they are on and what they plan to do next. Be patient and flexible with time, even if it means being late occasionally, so they understand the consequences of not completing their tasks promptly. This approach teaches responsibility and encourages kids to be helpful and proactive in contributing to the family ecosystem.

Using these strategies, you can create an environment where children feel empowered to ask for help and assist others, fostering a cooperative and supportive family dynamic.

7) Lead by example is the golden rule of parenting

When I first started the MomShine podcast, I couldn’t wait to dive into the topic of devices and how to handle them with my kids better. I wanted answers and training tools to lean on. Little did I know the most significant thing I'd learned was that all roads pointed back to me living a healthier relationship with my device.

The Golden Rule of Parenting: Model what you'd like to see from your kids.

The best thing I could do to help with tech was to show them how to use it and not be dependent on them. Work is in progress here, but there are no more phones at the dinner table, on vacations (unless for pictures), or weekends when we hang out. If I’m coordinating too much on it, I ask for a minute to resolve something and then put it away.

With any lesson we want to teach, it's essential that we show the way and help apply why those life lessons are important. Honest and solid communication is the way to make a big difference. And when in doubt—keep it simple! That’s what MomShine is all about. Remember to enjoy this time with them along the way. That’s all they want at the end of the day.

Check out our new guide for 20 Quick Tips to Shine for more tips.

by Alicia