Leaving the workforce was a mixed bag of emotions for me. After struggling to get pregnant with my third child at 37 and then navigating the challenges of raising three kids during a pandemic, I was physically and emotionally drained. My youngest had severe asthma, leading to frequent ER visits, and my older kids, ages 8 and 5 at the time, had their own needs that didn’t relent.
Meanwhile, I was trying to juggle a demanding career and a marriage that felt more like two ships passing in the night. I was burnt out but also not done doing what I loved.
As a content marketer, I started writing about it to cope, as I missed my life helping build multi-million and billion-dollar startups. Here are five things I did that helped me give myself permission to tell my story and carve a different career path.
Four fears holding busy moms back from sharing their stories
- Fear of being judged: I was terrified of being seen as a failure, but I realized that starting something new and different could lead me to a shinier, more balanced life.
- Fear of not being supported: I was scared others wouldn’t understand my career drive and pain in juggling building startups and growing a young family.
- Lack of inspiration: I saw little content on the identity crisis one goes through when leaving full-time work to parent more and try something new. I wanted more inspirational content on shining, reconnecting with yourself, and transforming your career to work better for you.
Here are a few stats if you are struggling in the workplace place as a busy mom and to know you aren’t alone:
- 56% of women leave the tech industry 10-20 years into their careers, which is double the rate of men
- Two-thirds of moms considered leaving the workforce last year due to the stress and cost of childcare, highest among Gen Z at 82%
- 1 in 4 parents say they’ve been fired for childcare challenge
I’m glad I took the time to reflect, and I am happy to share what I did to shine again as a mom and pursue more flexible career options.
4 things I did that helped me find myself and my shine again
1. I went to Parent School
This was a game-changer. A seven-part series led by a Bay Area therapist taught me how to create order in my house and be a sturdy leader. It was a turning point that inspired me to start MomShine, a platform to share my journey and insights and interview more people on burning topics I struggled with. This article I wrote on 7 Ways to Overcome Top Parenting Challenges with Ease helps cover what I learned, and I’ve done two shows with Poly Ely, MFT, if you’d like to learn more on the pod.
2. I made the time and formed Female Support Groups
I connected with other women going through similar struggles. We shared experiences and advice and supported each other through the ups and downs of motherhood and career changes. Through my show, I immediately contacted a friend and author who connected me to the Hey Mama Community. This is a vibrant community of over 50,000 other driven female entrepreneurs.
According to this Forbes article, “Study after study shows women who support women are more successful in business.” I had a few female mentors, but this connected me with an army of women all looking to build each other up. I’ve attended many fruitful events and interviewed many of these women on my show.
The second part was forming female workout groups. I immediately created a tennis group and a high-intensity training group weekly to keep me accountable for staying active and connecting with my favorite women in healthier ways. A US study found that exercise reduces the number of days per month a person experiences poor mental health by more than 43%. I can attest that lining up help and carving out time to stay active with other women has paid in spades.
3. I reinvented my career to create content I loved again
I started consulting and writing for companies in different industries, such as climate tech, edu-tech, and cybersecurity. This allowed me to stay connected to the professional world and find joy in my work again. It also allows me to sample a bunch of other industries, keeping my creative juices sharp and learning where I’d want to take my career next when and if the time is right. So far, I love diving into lifestyle topics and connecting with many incredible entrepreneurs through MomShine.
4. I found experts to simplify hard parenting and health topics
I sought experts on menopause, kid sports, and social media, which overwhelmed me when I started on this journey. Their guidance helped me manage these aspects of my life more effectively and with less stress. For example, I extracted critical learnings by just taking the kids and sports topics, and this show remains one of our most popular.
Here’s a snapshot of what I learned on the topic of sports:
- Don’t have more hours a week in activity than your child’s age (brilliant!)
- Pick their primary sport each season and then supplement on top new sports and skills they can achieve.
- Sample more sports early and save elite sports until adolescence or later.
- Let them learn resilience and how to lose.
- Focus on growth instead of winning and teach them to prioritize family obligations.
Listen to the full episode here, and check out the breakdown on other essential topics, such as digital wellness and menopause.
Where I’m at now and my outlook for the future
Today, I am still writing for a cybersecurity company I love and finding a balance between my professional and personal life. I am also exploring partnerships with beauty products and how I can further promote female-founded businesses through my show and website. I’m constantly challenging myself to feel my best and curious about all the latest research on happiness and longevity so I can lock in and love this ride with my kids. I shine more each day, enabling them to shine more, too.
If you are in the LA Area, come to the panel on Thursday, August 29th, at NeueHouse in Venice Beach with four other rockstar authors and women as we tell our stories about clearing out the gunk and permitting ourselves to live happier, more prosperous lives.